Do you ever feel like you have no idea how the heck you got here?
I’m not talking about the birds, the bees, the honey and the trees scenario. I hope you know by now, how you came to exist. Rather, do you think about how your life landed you here, right now, in this very moment?
Fortunately, or unfortunately this is the kind of existential contemplation juice fasting (on day 4) brings me.
I can’t help but face it. I want to avoid the annoying, nagging voice in my head. But I can’t.
My attempts to push them down are excuses like, “you’re hungry. You just need food!” But you’re not eating food, you’re juicing food. And believe me, it’s pretty hard to self hate and suppress stuff on fresh fruit juice. Even if you tried to, your body flushes it out as fast as it comes in.
It doesn’t work.
It’s partly why it’s such an efficient healing tool.
Meanwhile, as my skin and body heals at record speeds, my mind is raging war with itself.
Strategically firing flashbacks at me. A memory hits me! A memory of me, in the trenches, comrad-less, alone, wounded, and with a rifle and only one bullet in hand.
Hmm… we all know what most desperate characters do when loaded with loneliness, faced with fear, and an easy “out” as an option!
BOOM!
But in this analogy and in reality I didn’t end up choosing an out, obviously. Given I’m writing this, that twist was a spoiler from the get-go.
Needless to say my mind was throwing difficult past times back in my face. Times I desperately wished I’d had control of.
Thankfully, those extremes are now over. And all that’s left are residual wounds, scars and some PTSD.
But in all seriousness, those memory reminders, although unpleasant, triggered the existential contemplation that lead to an insight.
Of how the heck I got here… And how my life landed me here, right now, in this very moment.
The answer I found was simple in theory. But excruciatingly difficult in practice.
What I came to realise is this – the qualities that helped me get this far, are the qualities that helped me to heal. And are helping me now.
They are the reasons, I believe, I’m here right now writing to you.
So here they are:
6 qualities I cultivate to keep me going, heal my body, feed my mind and nourish my soul…
Patience – because it takes time you’d rather be spending “well”.
Persistence – because with each empty promise of a quick fix, followed by a subsequent failure, hope can quickly diminish.
Friends – because you need to be reminded of your worth by receiving love and giving love.
Hope – because it leads to an unwavering curiosity to find answers. To create forward motion, and avoid backward motion.
A creative outlet – because when you create something (like writing, art, poetry, music, dance, or connections, for example) you express yourself, improve yourself and ultimately learn to love another piece of yourself.
And intuition – because many people inevitably tout their uneducated opinions and unwanted pressures that can cause more damage than good. But when you trust intuition over your fear, and over others, that’s when things start to go your way.
When you listen to yourself and listen to your body. You’ll find the answers, like I did today.
Xx Jess (and her juice fast ramblings)