I Don’t Want A Cure With Carly Findlay

Written by lyndon.voigt@gmail.com in RA CHATS,SKIN

“I have the courage to look the world in the eye, when the world sometimes looks away or looks too much.”

Carly Findlay | Appearance Activist

Born with a rare and genetic skin condition called Ichthyosis, Carly Findlay knows what it’s like to be marginalised and treated differently because of the way she looks. But as rare as her skin condition is, more so is her strength of character.

Carly’s an award-winning writer, speaker and appearance activist — she’s written for news outlets including the ABC, The Age, and Sydney Morning Herald. Carly’s also appeared on The Project, ABC TV’s show You Can’t Ask That, is a regular on many of ABCs radio programs, and now the proud author of Say Hello.

In this Ra Chat, Carly opens up about:
  • Growing up with a skin condition (feeling isolated)
  • Shocking stories of micro-aggressions
  • Compliments, criticisms and self-esteem
  • Behind the infamous interview on ABC with Jon Faine [17:24]
  • Self-love
  • Working with a skin condition
  • Relationships and dating
  • Why “I don’t want a cure” for Ichthyosis [37:51]
  • How to cultivate courage [40:05]

And more!

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Note: This interview was recorded in December 2018 (pre-book launch) and there are some references to that time. Also note, some of the audio isn’t perfect due to connection issues.

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In fairytales the characters who look different are cast as the villain or monsters. It’s only when they shed their unconventional skin that they are seen as good or less frightening. There are very few stories where the character who looks different is the hero of the story, but I have been the hero of my story. Telling it on my terms, proud about my facial difference and disability, and not wanting a cure for my rare, severe, and sometimes confronting skin condition. And knowing that I’m beautiful even though I don’t have beauty privilege.


Excerpt from Say Hello

“There’s an expectation that our self-esteem is going to be low because of how we look, because people project their own self-esteem onto us.”

Carly Findlay Growing up

SET Qs Summary

What’s on crazy but true fact about you?

I learned Chinese Mandarin for 6 years.

What are 1-3 books that have really influenced you?

‘Wonder‘ by RJ Palacio — a book about facial difference
Roald Dahl books (as a child)
‘Any Ordinary Day’ By Leah Sales — about how life can change in an instant 

You live a very full and rich life, which also includes your husband Adam. So what would you say to those girls who are putting off looking for a partner because of their skin condition or facial difference?

I know I chased after so many guys who did not treat me right, so if that is happening (to you) it’s important to take time out to get to know yourself, to get to love yourself and know what you deserve.

I’ve had people come up to me and say “Oh, I really hope you’re married!”, and I said “I am, but marriage isn’t my biggest achievement.”

The biggest success is loving yourself.  You can always find other ways to enrich your life. Someone else doesn’t have to bring you happiness.

Carly Findlay Married

You talk a little bit about fandom in your book, can you tell us who you fangirl over? And why.

I really like Darren Hayes. Also, Bob Evans who is going to be interviewing me for my Melbourne launch, so that’s exciting. I regard him as a friend now, so I guess fandom has come full circle.

In the book, I also talk about a really embarrassing thing I did to Shane Warne when I was young. So you’ll have to read the book to find out more about that.

If you had one piece of advice to help women who may be struggling to love the skin they’re in, what would it be?

Stop reading the media that erases you…make your own media. Be visible and present and not be afraid to put your face out there. Create the community you want to see — put down the magazines, and curate your instagram feed…

I think that’s a really important thing, and something that’s really helped me — to see other people like me.

Carly Findlay Book Say Hello

Buy Carly’s new book ’Say Hello’ here!

Want to see more of Carly?

Follow her on Instagram @carlyfindlay, twitter, Facebook, and her blog.

Submit your story to Blackbooks click here.

Watch her ABC show episode: You Can’t Ask That

Listen to the infamous interview on ABC with Jon Faine

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If you LOVED Carly and this Ra Chat, give us some love in the comments!
What was your biggest take away?

xx Jess

Credits

Featured image: Kristoffer Paulsen

Music: bensound.com

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