The ONLY way to be seen is to face your fear.
I know that’s not what you wanted to hear, but let me explain.
Whether you have a skin condition, or not, we all want to be seen for who we are.
Not for what we look like, not for what we do, and not for what we have.
But it takes courage, it’s fucking scary.
Because what if someone sees us, and…
No longer likes us?
Loses their love for us?
Or abandons us?
That’s legit fucking fear.
The problem is, when we don’t feel seen, we become disconnected, we feel lonely, hopeless, unhappy and a sense of worthlessness — like we’re lost. Whether we are doing great things or not, whether we are surrounded by friends or not, whether we are in a relationship or not.
Because we need to be seen.
And if that sounds like you, chances are, you’re not seeing yourself either…
Because to be seen, you need to see yourself.
Are you…
- particularly hard on yourself?
- see yourself as someone who’s broken and needs fixing?
- seen as the strong one?
- unable to ask for help?
- only willing to be seen when others are vulnerable first?
- settling for someone who doesn’t see you?
If it’s a loud yes, chances are you don’t see yourself.
You ignore your intuition because you’re afraid to face your fear — you’re afraid to be seen.
Of course, I say this without judgment, and only because I know it intimately.
I know what it’s like to hide — both physically and emotionally — because it seems safe.
But it’s not safe, it’s so unsafe.
Our mind and body will do anything to meet that need, (even make us sick) it’ll make us as uncomfortable as humanly possible until we lean in and face that fear. Here I call this self-sabotage, but it’s really a blessing in disguise.
The body can “sabotage” us in many ways:
with…
- physical sickness
- accidents
- lethargy
- anxiety, depression
- and any action that sabotages what we want
Charles Darwin said evolution occurs at the border of support and challenge. In other words, we need both to grow. So when we take the easy option (support) and ignore our intuition — hide from our fear — our body and mind subconsciously “sabotages” or creates challenges to force us down the path we need to grow.
Meaning, without “the lion”, we’ve invented self-sabotage — our proverbial predator — to keep us on our toes. And the longer we ignore her, the louder she roars.
The only way to stop self-sabotage is to face the fear — to follow your intuition, and to trust yourself — to see yourself, and allow yourself to be seen.
It’s the only way I healed myself, continue to heal myself and be happy.
It’s a never-ending evolution!
For example, recently I hit a plateau — felt stuck, fearful and unhappy because I was resisting my intuition (i.e., my next logical and very fearful step). So I thought, “what’s the scariest thing I can do that’ll make this thing I’m avoiding, easy?”
My answer? Stand up comedy!
I faced that fear, and it was TERRIFYING, but I loved it! It gave me the confidence to tackle other challenges, and now I see myself differently.
So even if you don’t find it funny, at the very least, it’s entertaining to see me squirm. 😉
Here’s to being seen, and better yet, seeing yourself!
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Now, let me know in the comments below what you want to be able to do, but have been too scared to!
xx Jess