Ever feel guilty after eating? Then this is a must read.

 

Guilt – a physical reaction.

It’s not news that feeling guilt, shame or anxiety puts stress on our bodies. And when stressed, our immune system is compromised, our rest and repair mechanisms (including digestion) shut down. Meaning, we absorb less and eliminate less. This also affects the lymphatic system, which also slows down, reducing elimination (i.e., detoxification) through this channel as well! And as the removal of waste slows down, our toxicity goes up. And if we comfort eat, our body will store more fat to protect our vital organs. It’s a short term strategy to survive, but not to thrive.

 

Guilt – a vicious cycle.

Back when I ran workshops and support groups, one of the groups I worked with were binge eaters. And although what they binged on different things and in different quantities, they had one thing in common – guilt.

You may not be a binge eater, but you may, on occasion, be a comfort eater (i.e., eat when stressed or bored), and although the degrees may vary, the cycle remains the same.

The vicious cycle of anxiety and stress, closely followed by the impulse to eat. As dopamine is released when we eat, it reduces our stress momentarily. Hence why emotional eating is so common, even though it’s often followed by feeling sick, guilty, or even shame and more stress. Which leads to what? The urge, and the need to get another quick fix – another dopamine hit.

So we feed ourselves, which feeds the cycle.

To top it all off, each time we lose control to this impulse, we reduce our self-confidence and self-worth, not because we’re bad, but because of our unrealistic expectation – aka perfectionism. So we increase the chance of feeding ourselves something or in a quantity we don’t feel good about.

It’s only when we let go of the guilt, that we break the cycle.

If we put aside the fact that guilt can wreak havoc on our bodies, and feeds an unhealthy relationship with food and eating behaviours, could guilt be necessary a necessary evil to break our poor health habits? Isn’t it there because we shouldn’t eat bad food?

This is a particularly interesting question for me, as I’ve always put a big emphasis on what I eat, rather than, how I eat. And of course, I know eating healthily is important, but I’ve recently found it’s not always the best thing. So in short, my answer is no. I think guilt is an unnecessary evil, and no matter what you eat, there is no need to feel guilty.

But hear me out.

Four months ago I did an extended water fast with some juicing. To be precise, it was 16 days on water and 5 days on juice. That’s a total of 21 days without solids! I was small to begin with so by the end of it I desperately needed food. I went from a small 55kg to a tiny 46kgs – it wasn’t pretty! And after the fast, I went on raw foods for about a month and a half without much improvement. In fact, I started to regress somewhat. I was so stressed, frustrated, scared and felt unfairly restricted, I tried to do a mono diet of watermelon for a month, but I lasted a meagre three days.

My willpower had completely diminished, and to top it all off, I couldn’t gain the weight back.

So I gave myself “permission” to go off the raw foods for a bit. It was Christmas after all! Surrounded by whole foods, I gorged myself on lots of yummy stuff – it was wonderful! My justification was “after the holidays I’d go back on the watermelon until I was fully healed”. But I couldn’t! I got MASSIVE, uncontrollable cravings, so extreme it was overwhelming – I’d never experienced anything like it!

I craved and fantasised about foods I hadn’t wanted in years! I tried to push past it, but couldn’t.

The result? A binge on hot chips, burgers and ice cream three days in a row. I even went to Maccas, for the first time in 5 years! It was really unlike me…

Did I feel guilty? Oh yes! And anxiety followed. I was so scared I’d regress and my skin would get worse.

But logically I thought, “if you can’t control it and you’re gonna eat it, you may as well enjoy it!!!”

It was only then when I fully surrendered to the cravings and gave myself “guilt-free” permission to eat whatever I wanted, that the cravings completely disappeared, and my skin actually IMPROVED! Both radically and consistently. Plus, I gained all my weight back and my desire for healthy whole foods was restored. No willpower required. 😉

(note: once I did hit a plateau I went on a 27 day juice fast – I documented on instagram @in.the.ra with great success.)

My point is, even though fasting and eating healthy whole foods can radically improve our minds, body and experience, (and it certainly has mine), sometimes we crave what we need. And it may not make sense at the time, seem healthy or even helpful, but if we let our bodies receive it, I believe we can receive exactly what we need.

Which leads me to…

 

Getting over the guilt.

• Our dissatisfaction with our external world can be a reflection of our internal struggle.
• Which creates guilt when we eat things we consider bad
• Guilt creates a negative reaction to food in the body, such as inflammation, digestive upset, feelings of sickness, and can then lead to physical sickness and feeling run down.
• To rid of these awful feelings many of us eat more (and usually “bad” foods) because it feels good temporarily. This creates a cycle of addictive behaviour.
• Our lack of control then leads to lower self-worth, beating ourselves up, more guilt, shame, stress and eating.
• But feeling guilt may not even be necessary – it creates the very distress in the body that catalysed the guilt in the first place, and in the short-term, it could be the very thing our body needs!
• Besides, when we let go of guilt, we can break the cycle of binge and emotional eating. No longer needing willpower, we nourish ourselves with ease, we gain back control, our self-worth goes up and our bodies are more capable of processing food and functioning optimally – aka we are healthier!

So how do we get over the guilt?

 

Getting over guilt – the physical reaction.

 

“If you get the timing of your breathing just right, you can boost vagus nerve pathways higher and higher. Practising a few minutes of slow breathing can have lasting and compounding affects on the body.” – Dr Michael Greger

 

Helping to improve conditions associated with inflammation such as acne, rosacea, eczema, psoriasis, autoimmune conditions, leaky gut, candida, SIBO, irritable bowel, depression, anxiety and more.

So instead of eating when stressed, take a deep breathe.

All it takes is a few minutes of balanced breathing, slowly in, hold for a moment, and slowly out.

 

Getting over guilt – breaking the cycle.

To break the cycle we need to know why it started.

Simply, the cycle was created to avoid stress and anxiety – the cycle was created to avoid pain.

There is no need to get into the nitty gritty, or to dig deep. In fact, we want to move away from giving importance or meaning to this, as it just reinforces the behaviour.

Pain is normal, and it will pass.

The trick is not avoiding pain, but not minding that it hurts.

For me…

Eating has always been such a pleasurable experience. I love food, and I mean… I REALLY love food.

Who would have guessed given my many recent and current fasting exploits? Though it’s true, I love my food, but I love feeling good an being healthy even more… That’s why I put up with the pains of a fast, the pain of hunger, the pain of going without that usual pleasure – the beautiful smells, the intoxicating tastes of beautifully crafted whole foods, and dealing with the headaches, the fatigue and the emotional mood swings. It’s not all at once mind you, and it does get easier.

Though a few days ago I noticed the pain I was going through – the stress of work and all the things I wanted to accomplish in the day. And instead of sitting in the pain, I wanted to avoid it and suppress it. With food, and LOTS of juice. But I stopped myself. I know that’s not a habit I want to reinforce and it’s not something that’s going to give me what I want.

So I set myself some limits – only 500ml of juice for the day and the rest on water. Significantly less juice than I’d normally satiate myself with.

But did that help with the stress? At first, no. I felt even more overwhelmed, and I REALLY wanted to avoid the pain.

Though instead of using the strategy to eat or drink to distract, avoid and suppress the feeling, I had no other choice but to face it, sit in it and resolve it.

It was pretty powerful. And I think it applies to so many more situations in life. Times where we give up on stuff too soon because it’s painful, it’s too hard, or we don’t try something new, or take a chance, or be vulnerable because we’re afraid of getting hurt. We actively avoid the hurt. It’s natural after all.

At one point it was necessary to survive. But like you, I don’t just want to survive, I want to thrive.
And to thrive, the trick is not avoiding pain, but not minding that it hurts. Because when we no longer mind, we go after what we really want both fiercely, and fearlessly!

 

Getting over guilt – loving the skin you’re in.

 

In other words, knowing creates the understanding. But practicing creates the experience.